By Moonlight

I arrived at Daniels’ Park at a later time of day this time; the sun was already gone and that was probably because of my poor planning but it was something different. I parked and got out of my car and realized I would see nothing exciting from the side that I would normally go on so I sat down and faced the moon. It was gigantic and bright orange as it rose above the horizon; it lit up the park and the residential areas surrounding it. It was so large that I could make out the shadows without my glasses on, something I usually cannot do. It was a spectacular sight that I won’t forget anytime soon.

Nighttime and daytime provide such different experiences here. During the day, you look out and down at the plants or at the mountains; there’s not much to do when it’s dark there other than look up at the sky. But, out here, it doesn’t disappoint. There is so much air pollution back home in New York when compared to this spot. I can see so many stars and constellation and it serves as a reminder of the sublimity of life, of the midterms I’ve gotten terrible grades on, of the Arabic homework that’s stressing me out to no end, and all of those minuscule things that won’t matter much in the end.

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One thought on “By Moonlight

  1. 1) How well has the author captured a sense of place, noting the change in seasons and the impact on the site?

    I think that the author did an excellent job capturing the sense of place at her site. She successfully compared what her site was like in mid-September versus what the site is like in early-November. She captures the impact of the seasons though her photos and her detailed description of her surroundings.

    2) The audience for your site journal is interested web readers, so the journal should be written in a casual, engaging manner, and not read like a paper for psychology or business class. How well does the author maintain a relaxed, engaging voice? Provide an example to illustrate your point. Where’s a place that reads more formally?

    I think that Erika successfully engages the reader in her relaxed and conversational tone. She makes her blog more casual by talking about her family and her person experience. She writes, “I went to Daniels’ Park with my mother, my sister, and my best friend this time. It was an epiphanic night as I watched the sun go down while surrounded by people I love, something I would do back in New York. But this time, I was with them in Colorado. ” It makes her blog seem like she is telling a friend a story. She becomes more formal when she doesn’t use “I” in any of her observations. For example, this is seen when she writes, “The transition to autumn is an interesting one; something us humans associate with beauty and aestheticism is actually the journey to the ‘death’ of leaves. As the pigment of the leaves changes to its autumnal color and the sides curl up closer to the veins, almost as if huddling for warmth, it is reminiscent of the decline of temperature as the days grow shorter and year grows older.”

    3) What is the strongest entry in the site journal? Why? Which entry could be stronger, and why?

    This entry is my favorite because it shows her site in a completely new perspective. It was really interesting to read about how differently she felt at her site simply due to the time of day. I think that Erika’s “Fracking II” entry could be a lot stronger if the article was a little longer. She has great opinions on fracking, and I wish that she would expand upon them.

    4) How well does the author analyze (break down into smaller units) certain aspects of the site? 5) How well does the author synthesize (pull things together) the site?

    Erika does a good job analyzing her site by picking apart the details and describing them thoroughly to the reader. This is seen when she describes how the leaves’ “sides curl up closer to the veins, almost as if huddling for warmth.” She synthesizes the site by tying her experience to a greater theme. This is seen when she writes that the stars serve “as a reminder of the sublimity of life.”

    5) The site journal should feel whole, an organic unit. How well does the author connect the different entries, linking them together?

    I think that Erika could improve on making her site seem more cohesive. She only reference other entries and experiences a few times throughout the blog, and I wish that she would do that more often. It would make the blog a lot stronger and more cohesive.

    6) What suggestions do you have for the author as they revise the site journal for publication?

    I suggest that you focus on the cohesive of the site. The articles oftentimes seem unrelated to the previous entries, so I would recommend that you add transitional statements or statements that tie the ideas together. Other than that, this site looks wonderful!!

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